Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
we should paint friendship bongs
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
