Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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