Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
