you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize