Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
