i just google imaged poop.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
