I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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