do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
