There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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