Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
