Christians are straight up FREAKS
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I smell like Dick and happiness
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