i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
