so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
