last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
