I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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