Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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