there's paper in my vomit.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize