is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
