So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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