JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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