just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
