People in love make me want to vomit
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize