Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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