plz talk dirty to me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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