I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
