I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
