It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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