i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Randomize
