Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
