I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
