He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
