I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
