I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
