I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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