Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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