I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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