You're so nebulous sometimes
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize