He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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