He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
