I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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