So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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