I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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