please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
