a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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