capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
