the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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