So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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