Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
