apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
