Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
