I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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