That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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