I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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