dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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