If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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