But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i believe in u and ur pee
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
