This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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