At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
