It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
